


paid in full

by AerisaHale



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Episode: s07e16 The Last War, F/F, Fix-It, Post-Series, post-series finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AerisaHale/pseuds/AerisaHale
Summary: Clarke struggles with the peace of her new life post-Transcendence. With her face fresh in her mind, Clarke wants Lexa, fiercely. Maybe the Transcendence isn’t finished granting miracles.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Echo/Raven Reyes
Comments: 122
Kudos: 588





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ohhh boy, what a series. And here we are now, the end has come and passed. I had to fix it. I had to have true Clexa endgame, so here we are. Please enjoy! <3

The first few days are spent building shelter and finding adequate water and food supplies until they can navigate a long-term solution. Clarke is still raw from seeing her greatest love one last time. When she is searching the woods for a stream, gathering brush for fire, tying knots in the sturdy plants to build lean-to’s, she expects to turn around and find the being wearing Lexa’s face again.

But the moment does not come.

Weeks pass in which their small but precious group has set up their own small village, built through hard work and determination. Clarke is not alone, but when she enters her empty home at the end of the day, the sharp pang of loneliness bites into her chest, makes her replay holding Lexa’s image in her arms over and over again until it becomes something closer to torture than comfort.

She finds herself listless, going through the motions, still reeling from all the losses she’s never had a moment to truly process. Life has finally slowed down and Clarke finds no good in it, keeps herself busy with the rebuild. It doesn’t stop her from catching the glances and frowns of her family, who treat her like porcelain and keep their words choice, as if the wrong ones would make her shatter.

Wind whistles through the trees and thunder cracks ominously. Lightning sparks across the sky and illuminates the sheen of tears on Clarke’s face as sobs on one of these nights of beautiful agony. It is in the moment of darkness after that she decides. Wrenching open the front door, Clarke finds herself soaked in the minutes it takes her to go from the porch to the tree line.

Running and running, directionless and distraught, Clarke finally collapses from the exertion, legs aching, lungs filled with the fire of too-little air. Perhaps her little family is right, she is fragile and so, so close to breaking. Perhaps in death she will find her happiness once more. In true death—not the transcendence her daughter will be forever immortalized within—will she find those most precious to her. Her parents, not just her mother, but her father, too. She can tell Bellamy how fucking sorry she is, and how much she loves Lexa. Oh, Spirits, Lexa.

Something moves at the edge of her vision, but Clarke cannot find the strength within to turn her head. Let some creature of the forest be her end, she knows who waits for her in true death. She closes her eyes and waits for the inevitable, welcomed moment. She waits and waits until she decides she will wait for thirty seconds more. Seconds tick in her mind as she counts the different ways she imagines the afterlife to be like.

Nothing happens.

She opens her eyes.

The Commander of the Thirteen Clans stands over her, dry despite the rain. She repeats their words back to them, “You’re not her.”

“I am not,” they acknowledge, face expressionless.

Clarke remains as she is on the ground, face turned toward the sky, awaiting a death she finds unlikely now, not without her own intervention and she could not do that to her remaining family, not with intention. Eyes squeezing shut, tears hidden among the rain, she lets them flow as she mourns every single one of her losses, finally and truly. From the time her father was floated, to holding a body-locked Madi in her arms, she has lost everything. Yet, here she remains, to live out her days with Octavia, Raven, Echo and the others.

“But I am, Clarke.”

Eyes flying open, Clarke is on her feet before she truly registers what is happening. A disorienting moment where she is greeted with double-vision as two Lexas standing before her make Clarke wobble until she focuses on the one that smiles, the one that breathes, the one she loves. She is thankful she doesn’t have to do the running this time because Lexa does it for her.

“Lexa?” she cries, even as she holds her tight and feels the truth in the familiar press of her body that she could never forget. The moment does not feel real. “Lexa!”

“It is no trick, Clarke, I am here,” her lips whisper against her ear and Clarke pulls back just far enough to press her lips to the Commander’s, tasting her for the first time in so many years.

They kiss until they cannot breathe and even then, they do not let go of one another. Clarke will never let go of her again. Disbelief still threads her veins like shards of ice. “How is this possible?”

“The mind drives that Becca created are quite clever, even among our people. As the original, perhaps it was Becca’s intention, perhaps it was not, but The Flame, as you called it, implanted the mind drives of the Commanders within each new Commander, on and on until it last took root within Madi. When she transcended, we came to possess that data. After that, creating a physical body was a small but time-consuming feat.”

“Then why?”

The Judge turns toward Lexa and almost smiles. “Though she may not have known it, Lexa was a true believer. She united the people of Earth into one, attempting to end the cycle of blood must have blood. She, as well as the other Commanders, were also given a choice.”

“I chose you, Clarke. I took a vow and I intend to honor it.”

“Then Sheidheda…?” Clarke asks.

The Judge shakes their head. “No. His consciousness was with him when he was killed by Indra. He did not transcend.”

With those parting words, The Judge leaves as quickly as they came. Clarke pulls Lexa into a tight hug once more, cheek pressing against Lexa’s, warm and so very real. The blonde’s knees shake at the sound of Lexa’s voice as she says, “Madi sends her love. We spoke briefly within the collective before I was separated."

“Oh,” Clarke says, her shaking knees finally giving out beneath her. Lexa catches her and lowers them both to the muddy ground, hands pressing against Clarke’s cheeks as she continues to whisper her love to her.

Clarke is unsure how much time passes, but by the time they are walking back through the forest, the rain has passed. Both their clothes are soaked to their bodies, making the walk uncomfortable but Clarke makes sure she never breaks contact with Lexa on the entire walk back to her home at the edges of Wonkru Village. Mud- and rain-soaked, they hold each other tightly as Clarke whispers to her, “Welcome home.”

For the first time in a very long time, Clarke means it, feels like she is truly home. She finally has a reason to make Bellamy and her parents wait. Lexa pulls her into another kiss, only parting to say, “We finally owe nothing more to our people. I love you, Clarke, for the rest of our lives.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few ideas rolling around for turning this into a post-series chaptered fic, but I'd like to gauge if there would be interest in that. Let me know! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa meets a new face and some old ones.

“Clarke?” the voice calls from her front porch. “I came by last night and you weren’t home… Just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Inside, Clarke is scrambling into her clothes—the ones she can find, at least. They were quite strewn about and the outfit she opens the door in is less than ideal. The top barely comes past her hips and she’s mentally grateful for her panties coming off next to the bed so that they were close for her to throw on.

“Hey, Raven. I’m okay. I just went for a walk last night, to clear my head.” Clarke leans against the door frame, door pressed to her side with one hand to keep Raven’s line of sight minimal. When Clarke glances behind her, she finds Lexa immaculately dressed, but her hair didn’t find the same perfection after the previous night. Half the braids were still there, others had come loose. Clarke jerks her head, trying to get Lexa to leave the living room.

When Clarke turns back to Raven, the woman is looking at her through narrowed eyes, the suspicion clear on her face. “Is there someone in there? Who could it possibly be?”

Clarke rolls her eyes and pulls Raven into the living room, quickly shutting the door behind them. “No. Well, yes. Listen.”

Raven’s brows rise close to her hairline but she waits expectantly.

“Okay… Lexa is back.”

A heavy concern settles over Raven and she frowns. “Clarke, I saw the appearance the Judge took for you when they dropped you off. Clarke, that’s not Lexa.”

“No, listen. I didn’t go for a walk, exactly. I ran away when I was having a rough time. The Judge found me—”

“Then you know they’re not Lexa.”

Clarke continues, undeterred by the interruption, “The Judge found me and brought Lexa back. She was still in Madi’s mind. That’s how she remembered things from the previous Commanders even after the Flame was removed.”

Lexa chooses this moment to step into the living room and Clarke does not even realize what she’s doing until her hand slides into Lexa’s. She can’t stand not touching her, not feeling her close after all the years she’s been alone, been fighting for her people. She focuses on the warmth radiating from her palm, reassuring and soft.

“Wow, okay, that’s…unexpected,” Raven says.

A part of Clarke is glad to hear the affirmation. A part of her had worried she had envisioned the entire thing, a fantasy to soothe the ache in her heart. Concern that she had finally lost her grip on reality, simply hallucinating the events of the previous night flickered out, like a flame caught in the rain. If Raven could see her, could tell this was not the Judge, that this was Lexa…

Lexa, silent until now, offers a small smile, “It is good to see you again, Raven kom Skaikru.”

Raven nods at her, unsure what to feel. The last time she had any thoughts or feelings about the Commander, Lexa had set up a blockade with a kill order on Skaikru. Years had distanced her feelings from then, but that didn’t mean she knew what to say now. Experience has taught her a greater respect for the decisions Lexa made back then. The Commander was only trying to keep the peace. Raven knows how much Clarke had loved her, though. Everyone did. So, she decides to smile back, if but for Clarke. “And to you, Lexa.”

“Shall we go get some breakfast?” Clarke asks in the ensuing silence, already searching for more appropriate dress. “Probably best to just get this out there.”

The next closest building to Clarke’s is Raven’s home, a short walk up the newly formed path. The house is similar to Clarke’s own, simple and roughly built, but sturdy and leakproof. They had time to improve them. They had all the time in the world. Past Raven’s house, the path leads into a center, buildings surround the perimeter of an open area where a large fire burns. There’s several tables surrounding it, but only one person sits near the fire.

Indra turns at the sound of footsteps, eyes widening when she sees Lexa. “The Judge has returned?”

Lexa steps forward and holds her hand out towards her former wormana. The older woman steps closer and grasps her forearm in a tight grip, pulling her into a quick tight hug. “By the Flame, it is you, Heda!”

Clarke is surprised when Indra does not ask how, she just accepts it. They all sit at a nearby table and Indra pushes a plate of fruit and nuts into the center. The easy acceptance eases some more of Clarke’s anxiety, but also reminds her that Lexa has missed a lot since her death. She makes a mental note to ask Lexa how much she remembers, if Madi’s memories offer her insight into the paths everyone had taken since passing.

Just before they are about to leave, Octavia and Levitt join them at the table. Levitt eyes the newcomer with silent trepidation, and Octavia offers Lexa a glance before raising her eyebrows at Clarke. Octavia’s gravel voice cuts the new silence, “If anyone would find a way to bring back Heda, it would be Wanheda.”

Levitt’s brows furrow at the Trigedasleng, but he has spent enough time in Octavia’s memories to decipher some of it. “You are… Commander Lexa of the Thirteen Clans, one of the inheritors of Becca Franko’s mind drive.”

Lexa nods. “Yes, I am Bekka Pramheda’s successor, the sixth Commander of the lineage. You are Levitt? I’ve only seen you through Octavia’s memories while joined with the collective.”

Levitt’s face darkens as the attention of the small group turns to him and he won’t meet Clarke’s eyes. He may have been dismissed before she was hurt, but he is still ashamed of his part in what happened to Madi. Nothing he has done can make up for that. Under the table, Octavia squeezes his hand and he takes reassurance from it. Watching Octavia become the person she is from the person she was in the bunker, bolsters his hope that he’ll live up to the kind of person Octavia deserves.

Lexa reaches out and ghosts a finger down Octavia’s brow. “You wore Lincoln’s markings, I saw them in Madi’s memories. The end of his fight was unfair and I grieved for him, within the Flame.”

Octavia shifts somewhat uneasily. Lexa thinks it is in sorrow for the memory of her lost lover until Octavia asks slowly, “You…remember what happened there?”

“You don’t?” Lexa asks. Everyone but Clarke shakes their head. Puzzlement furrows her brow. “Perhaps, they made a mistake.”

Clarke touches Lexa’s arm. “I have a feeling these beings don’t make mistakes. Maybe you have some knowledge that could help us? Another test?”

Lips forming a thin line, Lexa turns her thoughts inward. “I must examine what memories I possess.”

-

Clarke guides Lexa back to her—no, their—house at the edge of the village. They settle on a bench on the porch, sitting in the ambience of the reawakened forest. Birds call from a distance and the sun is just beginning to peek over the edge of the tree line, slowly evaporating the moisture of last night’s rain.

“I know we didn’t get to talk much last night. You remember…everything? Everyone’s memories from the Transcendence?”

“It would appear so, though, I know not why. What is the purpose if we are to be the last of the human race?”

Clarke stays silent as she mulls over the implications, eyes squinting as the sun rises steadily over the trees until the full globe can be seen. Is there a greater purpose? Is it another test? Or is it simply a side-effect of Lexa having been given a second chance at life in such a unique manner? The Judge had been very clear that this was it—one life left to live, no more chances. The birdcalls die down after a while, and so do Clarke’s thoughts.

“You know, I thought I knew what true love was, with Finn. But with you, it crept up on me, slowly. I didn’t always like the choices you made, but I don’t have to. It made you human. It made me human. We are stronger together. I really believe that. I…never got to say that. I changed my mind. I was going to stay.”

Lexa looks at her with bright, soft eyes and Clarke loses herself in them as she had so many times in her dreams over the years. “Klark kom Skaikru, I never got the chance to tell you, even in the City of Light, how much I loved you.”

Clarke pulls Lexa forward until their lips are pressed together tightly. Lexa is shaking and she wraps her arms around her, holding so firmly she thinks she might bruise her, but the shaking stops before their kiss does. She leans her forehead against Lexa’s. “So much has changed, Lexa, but I never stopped loving you, not even for an instant. Whatever this all may or may not mean, we’ll figure it out together. For now, life is about more than just surviving.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaia and Levitt explore their different faiths as Lexa mourns for her losses.

The forest is quiet in the warm sun of the afternoon. The forest floor is still damp where the trees were too thick for enough light to shine through. The leaves squelch more than crunch under her feet and it is not a feeling Gaia enjoyed. The warrior in her cringes with every noise. Then she reminds herself that there is not much left to find her but a few wild animals.

When she reache the edge of Wonkru Village, the small home they were building a few minutes walk from the treeline, she starts smelling something that makes her stomach growl. She has fasted this morning in observation of the _Fleimkepa_ ’s Thursday ritual, spending that time and then some meditating on her purpose in this post-Transcendence reality. Wandering further, she finds Niylah tending to a pot over the fire burning at the center of their village. It is the source of the smell and her stomach announces her presence quite loudly.

The blonde woman turns and smiles at her. “Would you like some?”

“Please. Thank you for this meal.” Gaia dips her head in appreciation, hands wrapping around the bowl handed to her, taking pleasure in the warmth that radiates from it. Bringing it to her face, she takes a deep breath, meat and vegetables swirling to create a mouthwatering scent and she doesn’t waste any time in taking a sip of the steaming broth. “This is very good.”

Niylah’s smile widens. “Jackson has helped me find some herbs that are safe to eat and I’ve been experimenting with them. Miller caught some rabbits in a trap this morning and I had a few I thought would go well with them. I’m glad you approve.”

In the ensuing silence, Gaia continues to savor the warmth of the rabbit stew in her hands. Contemplating her place has left her unusually off-kilter despite the way her Sunday meditations usually ground her. She surprises herself when she hears her voice ask, “Do you think the time of the _Fleimkepa_ is over?”

Niylah is quiet for a moment as she stirs the pot of soup and her eyes are warm when she finds Gaia’s dark eyes. “Perhaps it’s not what you want to hear, but if we are the last of humanity, then yes. The Flame is gone, the time of the Commanders is truly at an end.”

Staring for a beat longer, it takes just a moment too long for Gaia to nod in understanding. Niylah smiles a sad smile at her. “I’m sure there are some among us who would enjoy hearing the _Fleimkepa_ ’s history, though. Just because your purpose has fled does not mean that your legacy has to follow.”

Another nod. Setting the empty soup bowl into the bin at the edge of one of the tables, Gaia heads towards her home.

\--

The afternoon finds Clarke and Lexa huddled into their, admittedly yet bare, home. The bed is the most comfortable place and Clarke is still in awe that Lexa is hear with her. Their lovemaking had come to an end again and now they just lay together, skin to skin despite the sticky sweat making it somewhat uncomfortable.

“Tell me what you’re feeling,” Clarke whispers, trailing fingers down the tattoo on Lexa’s arm, curious in it’s very existence.

“Unmoored. I remember the events that have taken place since—since my death.” Clarke’s breath hitches when Lexa’s voice catches. That moment is her greatest source of pain. “But none of that is a suitable replacement for experiencing them.”

Clarke pulls her into a kiss. “I am the harbor at which you can tether.”

“You are, Klark. You are. I am not unexperienced with holding wisdom I never attained myself. I just need time to adjust.”

Clarke’s lips press to her shoulder, murmuring against her skin, “How does a new Commander traditionally fare, after they’ve just taken the Flame?”

“We spend a lot of time learning from the _Fleimkepa_ ’s. The new Commander often inherits the previous Commander’s _Fleimkepa_. The immediately previous Commander’s experiences and insights are going to be the most prevalent. For generations we were warned of Sheidheda’s dark influences. I am sorry for what he did to Madi.”

Shaking her head, Clarke rolls onto her elbow, eyes bright and intense, “You taught my daughter—and reminded me when I forgot it—that love is not weakness. You were there for her. None of what happened to her is your fault.”

Lexa’s eyes soften and she pulls Clarke into a long, slow kiss, hand cupping her cheek. “Madi would have been an awe-worthy Commander.”

Contemplating the note of sadness in her lover’s voice, Clarke spends the time remembering the curves and lines of Lexa’s face. “Aden would have been as well.”

Face falling, Lexa refuses to squeeze her eyes shut and shed the tears that have gathered in them. When one traces a path down her cheek anyway, Clarke rubs it away with her thumb before enveloping Lexa in her arms, holding her tightly. “It’s okay to mourn. You must feel like you just lost him—all the Natblida—just yesterday.”

In the privacy of their home and the safety of Clarke’s arms, Lexa cries for everything she lost.

\--

Gaia is passing in front of Octavia’s house when a particular chanting catches her attention. She comes around the side to the back, finding Levitt on his knees, head bowed, reciting words like he’s done it thousands of times before. Her foot steps on a branch and his head snaps up, catching her in his sights.

“I do not mean to intrude,” she says, lightly.

“No intrusion, you just startled me.” Levitt offers her a kind smile, resuming the quiet invocation under his breath.

“You need not hide your faith from me. In fact, I’d very much like to hear it, if I may?” Gaia folds herself into a sitting position adjacent to him.

He hesitates a moment and then continues out loud. His words speak of a final battle, of tests and ending, of faith in a prophet who helped them Transcend the light. This is the faith of the the Transcendence and Gaia soaks in the words, mulling them over and holding them up against her own faith. It is several minutes before he appears to finish. “For the Good of All Mankind.”

“Your faith has come to fruition. That must feel uniquely satisfying.”

“I can’t say I don’t have doubts, even now. The Shepherd believed that rescinding love and personal connections would lead us to Transcendence, but he did not live by his own teachings, not at the end, at least.”

“It can be heavy to bear when our idols to do not live up to our standards. For what it’s worth, he was human.”

“Ah, I am not sure that humanity would find you destroying a child’s mind.” Gaia raises a brow at him and Levitt explains, “The Shepherd chose to destroy Madi’s mind in pursuit of his daughter.”

Gaia sucks in a breath through her teeth. “Oh, Madi!”

“From what Clarke has said, though, the Judge indicated that Madi chose to stay within the Trancendence, with people her own age.”

“Is that a life with people, in such a sense?”

Levitt shrugs. “I can’t say.”

“It was the situation with Madi, then, that would have you rescind your beliefs, deny yourself the Transcendence for which you lived your life?”

Levitt appears thoughtful, before saying slowly, “I can’t say it was any one thing. Octavia taught me what love for another looked like. The Shepherd displayed it for his daughter and that is when I began to doubt. When he asked me to destroy Madi’s mind, having me removed for refusing, that was when I knew that he was as infallible as the rest of us. He was wrong about the Transcendence being a war. I can’t help but wonder if he’s wrong about other parts of the Transcendence.”

“Enough doubt that you would risk forever?”

“Yes,” Levitt says, so fiercely that Gaia is rocked by it. There is a moment of companionship between them, on the buoy of love amidst the stormy seas of keeping faith. Levitt eventually smiles again. “Tell me, _Fleimkepa_ , what are the virtues of your convictions? I would like to hear your faith, as well, if you don’t mind.”

Gaia’s heart soars at the opportunity. “The _Fleimkepa_ tradition was born with Kalliope Pramfleimkepa…”

It is dark before they find themselves turning away to bed, but Gaia has found a friend in Levitt in the hours spent comparing and sharing their faith. It instills a peace within her that she could not find that morning. There are more things in life than just faith, and she intends to find every good part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come visit me on [Tumblr](https://aerisahale.tumblr.com)! I'd love to hear from you all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Echo mourns Bellamy, fully and finally. Octavia teaches Levitt to garden. Lexa observes the group bonding and sorts through her own thoughts.

The metallic crash and cursing has Echo veering towards the sounds. She finds Raven in the small workshop the group had built together, at her request. Within it, she has various bits strewn across the table built into the side. The floor is also a minefield of metallic pieces, surrounding Raven Reyes sitting despondently, and Echo raps her knuckles against the doorframe when she approaches.

“You okay?” Echo asks.

When Raven’s face turns towards her, she has a tick in her brow that Echo knows she only gets when she’s trying to solve a particularly difficult problem. “I’m fine. It’s just—this project.”

Echo quirks a brow, holding out her hand. “Oh?”

Raven sighs and heaves herself up with the offered help, appreciating Echo’s strength when she doesn’t move a centimeter at having Raven’s full weight pulled against her. It lets her keep the weight off of her bad leg and she quickly takes a seat. “It’s nothing. Just a little something I’m working on for now. Not even sure it will work.”

“Just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Echo repeats and turns to leave, stopping when she Raven calls for her to wait.

“Want to play some cards? Like we used to on the Ark?” Raven asks, quickly.

Echo turns back and shrugs a shoulder. “Sure. I don’t mind winning.”

Raven grins. “Oh, it’s on!”

\--

“So, Lexa’s back?” Echo asks, quietly. The news had travelled through their small family quickly, but Clarke and Lexa are keeping themselves sequestered inside Clarke’s house, understandably. Clarke had gone years without the one she loves. Echo doesn’t begrudge her the chance, but it does make her mourn for Bellamy in a peculiar way.

He was right. The entire time he kept trying to tell her that he had seen the Transcendence, believed in it more than even her. Echo knew he loved her, once. Maybe she should have spent more time trying to understand where he was coming from. Everything she knew believed he was wrong in the same way he believed she was wrong, but he had ended up being right.

That was the most painful part of it. He’d tried to make them all understand, had sacrificed his life at his best friend’s hands in order to get Cadogen the knowledge he needed to start the Last War. The tears are running down her cheeks before she has the chance to stop them and she looks away from Raven quickly, throwing her cards down.

Raven’s arms are around her, holding tightly as she sobs. “He was right, Raven. Whatever he saw, it convinced him the Transcendence was real and we all just threw him away.”

Rocking her through her pain, Raven does not say anything for quite a while. She is contemplating the value of the things she could say, what she should say. Watching Echo and Bellamy fall in love on the Ark was a bittersweet experience. Once, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get over Finn, but watching their love had proven to her that Finn wasn’t the Bellamy to her Echo.

“Bellamy fought for the people he loved, just like he always has. Even when we didn’t agree with him. That took strength,” Raven settles on saying, smoothing a hand over Echo’s hair as she does.

Echo continues to sob and Raven rocks her through it.

\--

Hands digging into the dirt, Octavia relishes the feel beneath her fingernails, before scooping a mound of dirt away from the fledgling plant she was moving from their greenhouse to a wider space. Beside her, Levitt followed her guidance as he helped her in transplanting their broccoli to a more suitable location.

His hesitation was evident every time he went to dig into the dirt and Octavia was smiling at him out of the corner of her eye. “I used to hate gardening.”

“Is that so?” He raises an eyebrow at the ease with which she completes her task.

“For awhile, I thought I could find peace on Illian’s farm, but I always hated the farming. It took a couple years on Skyring for me to really find the rhythm in it. I think back with Illian, I wasn’t ready for peace.”

Levitt’s hands stop moving. “You told me some weeks ago that you embody fighting. Do you still believe that?”

“To an extent, yes. Have I seen enough killing, war, and death to not want it anymore? Absolutely.”

Octavia glances at him, finding a smile on his face. “The things you’ve overcome are incredible, Octavia. You’re incredible.”

She leans in for a kiss, but is startled when he pulls back quickly. She turns behind her and see Lexa trailing Clarke as they make their way to the Center. Octavia asks, “Have you met her yet?”

“I only know what I’ve seen through you and, somewhat because she fought it, Clarke.”

“Clarke’s memories are probably better than mine. I spent most of the time she was alive blaming her for a lot of things.”

“Do you still?”

“After the things I had to do to keep everyone in the Bunker alive, I’d say she did a hell of job uniting the Twelve Clans back then. It feels like a lifetime ago. …Well, most of it.” Her heart throbs as her thoughts turn toward Lincoln, her mind’s eye watching him fall to the mud, blood spilling around him as she screams and screams and—

A deep breath and Levitt’s firm grip on her arm grounds her back to the present. A few more steadying breaths has her racing heart slowing down, and a few more breaths after that she can ask, “Would you like to meet her?”

“No, we don’t have to right now. It’s a small place, it’s bound to happen eventually. Besides, we have to finish the broccoli since I got us side-tracked.”

Octavia smiles, dipping her head and pressing it to his shoulder.

\--

Lexa follows after Clarke, observing and letting the blonde take the lead still. It had only been a few days and she was still learning a lot of these people. She’s led to the Center where two people she’d never seen before sparred together. They moved in the way that lover’s do when they spar, avoiding the spots that really hurt, an occasional love tap in suggestive places. They are young and fall into giggles when Miller makes a comment that Lexa can’t quite hear.

He nods at her when Clarke takes a seat beside him and she finds one for herself nearby. She observes the man that he’s holding hands with as the lovers take up their sparring again. She finds she knows his name, what his favorite food is, where he likes to be touched, and she finds herself blushing. Multitudes of knowledge sift through her brain at any given moment, the combine knowledge of an entire race stuffed into her hippocampus without the processing power of the Flame.

She has a memory of Charles Pike teaching her the correct side of a tree that moss grows on, but it is not her memory. Her Trikru mother taught her woods skills before she was sent to the Conclave under the order of her predecessor, Heda Hanbin kom Trikru, a great warrior from her Clan. He took her under his wing and taught her to fight before his untimely death. Yet, she also remembers being taught by Queen Nia, in her own spy’s Conclave, and the blood from fresh Azgeda scarring running down her face in red blood she’s never had.

She’s jolted from her thoughts by as one of the combatants comes careening toward her and she leaps from her seat, narrowly catching the man by the shoulders and standing him upright where they stand.

“Hello,” he says, breathlessly, grinning widely at her. “I am Jordan.”

Lexa dips her head. “Lexa.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Maddi. She used to tell incredible tales about you.”

“I’m sure they were exaggerated.”

“My favorite was your fight with Prince Roan.”

Lexa smiles. “That is a tale, indeed.”

“It was the first time I really saw her fight,” Clarke says to Jordan, even as her eyes meet Lexa’s own. “She is a very capable warrior.”

“Perhaps you can teach me, then, because Hope still kicks my ass.” He laughs and wraps an arm around his girlfriend’s waist.

“Don’t feel bad, Jordan, Hope could kick _my_ ass,” Miller says, dryly. “Just keep working at it.”

“I see Azgeda in those moves,” Lexa directs to Hope.

“That would be Echo,” Hope says, looking up to the sky. “During our time on Skyring.”

“I’ve decided to take my name back,” Echo says as she and Raven join the group. “My name—my real name—is Ash.”

Raven smiles brightly at Ash as they join the group at the center. Lexa can’t help but notice that Ash won’t look directly at her and she wonders why. After a while the entire group is gathered in the Center, as Niylah starts cooking something. She settles back into the background as she watches everyone interact.

Azgeda, Skaikru, Trikru, others who were more than those Clans and others who were neither, all gathered together in one place, laughing, bickering, and trading stories and jabs just like a real family. It is everything she wanted the alliance of the Clans to be and more. Hope soars in her chest as she smiles warmly at Clarke who smiles back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not totally sure what Raven's project is going to be, but I think I know. :) I don't like how quiet Lexa has been, but I think it will take her time to adjust to people she's never met, and people she's been away from for years. Hope you're all still enjoying! It's a little loose right now, but I have an endpoint I want to come to. I just want to take the time in between exploring all these little interactions that I feel like we never got in the show.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa confronts Ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is very short! I have been very busy lately and didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer.

“Again,” Indra says, walking a circle around her pupil. “Again.”

Jackson’s fingers fumble and he throws the project to the ground. Indra picks it up and hands it to him. “Despite your doctor’s hands, some things require patience.”

He grasps the board again and picks up each end of the thread he’s learning to knot. He’d asked Indra to show him Trikru knotting techniques when he’d observed her building a net out of them. They were close to a suture he’d been working on and he couldn’t help but wonder if the style would help improve it.

He begins again, twisting and tucking the way he was shown when it all falls from his grasp again. He groans and curls his hand into a fist as he catches sight of Lexa heading along the edge of the clearing before she disappears from his sight. Indra catches him watching.

“Did you ever meet her?” the warrior asks.

“Not in person, no.”

“She was one of the wisest Commanders and a woman I would follow into battle any day.”

Jackson thinks that is the only compliment he’s ever heard from Indra and tucks it away with the other scant information he has on the woman.

\--

Even though she still will not look her directly in the eyes, Lexa can tell Echo—Ash—is paying close attention to her. Her breath hitches when Lexa steps fully within her home. Shutting the door behind her, she rests her weight on the arm of a nearby chair, observing the former Azgeda spy. This is not the same woman she knew when she was alive.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“I was the one who brought Costia to Nia. I was the one who cut off her head. I was the one who delivered it to your bed as you slept,” Ash articulates monotonously, but Lexa can hear the barest wobble in her tone.

“Nia,” Lexa’s voice is sharper than she intended and she takes a small breath before continuing, “in all her arrogance, was the one who took Costia from me. Pardon my candor, but you were a tool in her hands. Not only has time laid that pain to rest, but taking Nia’s life was jus drein jus daun. I harbor no ill will towards you…Ash.” Lexa offers her a smile that she hopes is reassuring.

Ash finally meets her gaze and there are tears threatening to spill over. Lexa offers her the barest nod and leaves her as quickly as she came.

\--

Raven sidesteps out of Lexa’s way as the former Commander hurries away from Ash’s house. This was the first time she’d seen the woman sans Clarke. Turning to send her a puzzled glance, she turns back toward her destination. Two knuckles rap against the door and she hears a muffled reply that she can’t quite hear, but takes as an invitation.

For all the strength Raven knows she can possess, in this moment, Ash looks fragile. The engineer doesn’t bother asking the question dancing on her tongue. She finds purchase on a chair and a side table to ease herself onto the floor, mindful of her bad leg, as she slots herself against Ash’s back, arms wrapping around her again.

Ash leans into her, hands coming up to grip Raven’s arms, holding tightly. They sit like that for several quiet moments until Ash leans her head back onto Raven’s shoulder, murmuring, “It’s not as bad as last week. I’m just…so tired.”

“I’m guessing something happened with Lexa?”

“I’ve done a lot of terrible things in my life,” Ash says with the burden of years she is too young to carry. Raven tightens her hold.

“We all have.” Memories of Hatch flood her. “We just need to find something to live for. You still have me. You’ll always have me.”

Something inside of Ash breaks, maybe heals, she is not sure. For her entire life, loyalty has been her commanding trait, her purpose beyond surviving. Never has anyone professed their loyalty to her, reassured her they would be there for her, for always. It is overwhelming, to hear it directed towards her, the all encompassing forever she had promised Nia, Roan, Bellamy, each in their own way.

“Will you stay here for a while,” Ash whispers.

“Forever,” Raven echoes.

\--

Lexa’s path leads her back to the home she shares with Clarke, and her heart melts at just the thought. Never had a Commander’s reign ended in old age, so Lexa had never dared a true life with Clarke was possible. Being given this second chance, to live out her life in peace with her love, was incredible.

Embracing the opportunity, Lexa slides into bed behind the still-sleeping Clarke. Wrapping her arms around the blonde’s abdomen, she slots her face into her shoulder and breathes the scent of her. It’s like nothing she’s smelled before and yet it makes her brain feel home and safe and she lets it lull her back into sleep.

“ _In peace, may you leave the shore._ ”

Lexa jerks awake, startling Clarke along with her. She knows that voice but cannot place it. It is not Clarke’s, it is not her memory from the moments before her death. Her brain tugs at another memory, but the book will not budge from the shelf and the spine is blank. Perhaps it is not hers. She shakes off the eerie familiarity.

Clarke is staring at her, worry evident.

“Do not worry. Just bad dreams.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven starts a journey, in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to wrap this up in three or four more chapters. Maybe with a filler chapter focusing on Clarke and Lexa because they haven't gotten enough love yet. <3

Niylah is handing Raven food from one of the storehouses at the edge of the Center. Fruit and dried meat are packed away into the bag at her feet. A blanket is rolled and tied to the outside. Ash approaches her. “You’re leaving?”

Raven smiles at her. “Only for a little while. I want to try to find some lab equipment.”

“I’ll go with you.” Ash uses a tone she hopes brooks no argument. It seems she hit the mark when Raven nods with only the barest hesitation. “Do you have a place in mind?”

“I read about an outlying science post that was originally part of the Mount Weather before the first bombs went off. They were East of the mountain range. I think we’ll have to cross over them.”

Ash nods, reaching out and curling her fingers around Raven’s. “I think I may know a shortcut. There were smuggler’s trails that cut through the mountain to avoid the reapers and Mountain Men. Let me go get packed myself.”

\--

Lexa watches Ash and Raven from a distance. Clarke is at her side and they are simply lounging together after their breakfast. They have yet to really speak about it but Lexa suspects they both enjoy the simple peace of being together, soaking in the moments they never got before. The former Commander rubs her hand down Wanheda’s back, pressing a soothing path up and down the length of it.

When Ash reaches out and grabs Raven’s hand, the same voice from a few weeks ago rings clearly in her mind, “ _In love, may you find the next._ ”

Lexa doesn’t realize she is shaking until Clarke’s hand closes firmly on her forearm. “Lexa, what’s wrong?”

Eyes wide, she looks at the woman she loves and shakes her head. “I do not know… I keep—hearing this voice, but last time I thought it was just my dream.”

“That morning you woke up? What does it say?”

“Your traveler’s blessing. It’s not your voice, though. During the dream it said, ‘In peace may you leave the shore.’ And just now, ‘In love, may you find the next.’”

“What does that mean?”

“I am not sure, yet.”

“Raven and Echo?” Clarke asks.

“Ash,” Lexa corrects. “Perhaps they are in love.”

Clarke snorts. “Do they know that?”

\--

An hour later, Raven and Ash’s bags are packed full and loaded onto their backs. They head west through the forest that surrounds their home, towards the mountain that serves as a backdrop to the tree line. They do not bother moving soundlessly and various animals skitter as they make their way through. Raven steps carefully with her left leg, ensuring every step is carefully placed.

“What is the lab equipment for?” Ash asks.

Raven smirks, secrets hidden in that beautiful brain. “My little project. I don’t want to say anything yet.”

“Not even a hint?” The former spy finds herself smiling despite herself.

“Nope.”

“Well, do you want to bring it back or use it there?”

“Ideally, bring it back. Less ideally, make a second trip to bring it back.” Ash hums a response and Raven bumps her shoulder into the other woman’s.

They continue to walk in silence until they clear the edge of the woods. The mountain still lies at least a days travel away but Raven’s feet hurt and the limp in her left leg is getting a bit too bad to keep maneuvering for the day. She comes to a stop and throws her pack down. “My feet hurt and I’m hungry.”

“I’ll go gather some wood for a fire, if you want to take a break.” From the side of her bag, she unclips a hatchet, pulling the leather cover off the head and leaving it with the rest of her equipment.

Raven is grateful. “Thanks, Ash.”

Ash peruses the forest for dry wood, but is disappointed to find everything suitable damp and covered in moss. She veers to the left, where the trees grow thicker and closer to the mountain, hopes to find something that may not be damp under the better coverage of the foliage above.

A fallen log rewards her with a dry section amongst a copse of trees and she sets to work liberating and breaking down the dry section into firewood that they can use for the night. Once that’s done, with Raven’s help, it only takes two trips to get the firewood back to their camp.

Once the fire is roaring, night has fallen and their bellies are full of beef jerky and vegetables they roasted over the flames. Ash is listening to a fond story Raven is sharing about Sinclair. The former spy cannot recall the man, but the way his memory makes Raven’s face light up is enough to make her smile.

She’s been smiling a lot, around this woman, Ash recalls. More than she had smiled in a long time. A part of her was happy with the peace of their newfound life, happy with the fact that she wasn’t alone. The month that has passed since she cried in Raven’s arms about losing Bellamy has allowed the wound to heal over. Though still painful when prodded, she’s accepted what has happened, hopes to find something more as she moves forward with her life.

In these thoughts, she finds herself studying Raven’s face, skin golden in the firelight, bright with happiness at the memories of a man who had become like a mentor to her. Ash cannot find happiness within any memories of her mentors, but that is because it was mostly Nia and her selfish aspirations. Life on the Ark had taught her the true value of love and family and she would never let it go again. She will never let go of Raven again, feels the truth behind it as the thought crosses her mind.

Raven has finished speaking some time ago, now trying to get her attention. Ash shakes her head. “Lost in my thoughts. What did you say?”

“Nothing important. What were you thinking about?”

“You,” Ash answers with an honesty she didn’t know she possessed.

Surprise flickers over Raven’s face and she moves around the fire to take a seat next to Ash. “I find myself thinking about you a lot lately, too.”

Courage flees her as she can’t find it within her to turn and look at Raven, acutely aware of how close she is. She can feel Raven’s eyes on her, bringing warmth to her cheeks. The mechanic grasps her jaw and turns Ash’s face towards her. The spy only gets a second’s warning as the other woman’s eyes flicker down to her lips and back up before—something crashes through the woods and they fly apart, readying themselves into fighting stances.

Ash’s hand is curled around her hatchet, and Raven has picked up a stick from the edge of the fire, it’s end aflame and held aloft. A wolf crashes through the woods, it’s two front paws enlarged and mutated. It is little wonder it crashes instead of creeps through the woods. It looks thinner than it should and while it growls at them, Raven throws her stick back into the fire and digs through her bag to find some of the dried meat, tossing some to it.

It looks wary before it snatches the food into its jaws and disappears back into the woods. Raven lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and flops back down to the ground. When Ash does the same, right next to her, Raven leans her head onto the other woman’s shoulder and laughs. “That could have been worse, even though it interrupted my big move.”

Ash chuckles and rubs a palm over Raven’s cheek as she looks down at the top of her head. “Get some sleep, Raven. I’ll keep watch.”

Raven yawns and crawls into the mound of blankets she had set up earlier. “Wake me up in a few hours and we can trade off.”

When Ash wakes after trading off with Raven in the middle of the night, light is barely breaking the horizon and the chill of the night clings to her as she crawls out of the blankets. Raven has already spread the coals of the dead fire and packed everything but the blankets that Ash was using. The former spy sets to gathering and rerolling their bedding to attach to their bags again.

Once their camp is packed away, they set off towards the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys! <3 Feel free to come share your thoughts on Tumblr!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niylah bonds with Gaia and Clarke takes Lexa on a date.

The rope twists in her fingers like she’s been doing it her entire life—half her life anyway, until she came to Polis to train under her predecessor after winning the Conclave. Hanbin had been a firm teacher, mired with the realities of the world, a trait he worked diligently to instill within Lexa. It’s a trait that she tried to pass down to her own _natblida_. Aden has taken to it easily, despite his age. By the Flame, she misses him.

The net she is building is finished, quick and precise. Carefully folding it into a manageable bundle, she slides it into the pack with the others she had built, cinching the drawstring of the bag and putting it in the second storehouse next to the fishing poles. Closing the door behind her, she turns towards the long dining table that occupies the true center of their village, eyes finding the dishes bin as she sets herself to her next task. It was her turn for dishes today.

Gathering a cloth and a second clean bin, she fills it with potable water that had been filtered and boiled earlier in the day. Cleaning the dishes, most salvaged from the bunker, is a rhythmic task that Lexa finds herself enjoying, clearing her mind to the quiet village, birdsong and the sun of midday warming her head and shoulders. It’s peaceful, mundane and she revels in it.

As she is finishing, Niylah is pulling bags of vegetables out of the first storehouse, depositing them on the table. Lexa asks, “You prep for dinner this early?”

“It takes some time to prep and cook enough food for fifteen people.” Niylah smiles warmly.

“I can imagine. Would you like some help?”

“Sure.”

Lexa grabs her own bag and spends some time in silence, chopping vegetables next to her, their elbows bumping a couple times when she stops paying as much attention as she should. Niylah’s skin is warm and Lexa steals glances at her profile, taking in her blonde hair and sharp face.

“Thank you for being there for Clarke when I could not be. I’m glad she had someone. I hope my return isn’t…uncomfortable.”

“Clarke and I shared a bed for comfort, but we were never more than friends. I am not uncomfortable if you are not uncomfortable.”

“I am not. Clarke deserves all the comfort she can get.”

“I agree,” Niylah says with a knowing smile and a twinkle in her eye. “She _is_ really cute when her she presses her lips together in that one way when she’s angry.”

Lexa laughs. “She is and, for that, I have had equal amounts of pleasure and displeasure at her being angry with me often.”

“Not you two talking about me?” Clarke asks as she comes up behind them.

Lexa and Niylah turn with the same charming smile on each of their faces. Niylah teases, “We do have one thing in _particular_ in common, Clarke.”

Clarke groans. “Oh, no. I’ve never wanted the conspiratorial lover and ex-lover. I like the jealous, fighting pair much better.”

“No can do, I’m afraid.”

“It is a bond of respect, Clarke. Petty jealousy has no place here.” Clarke’s brows rise in surprise at Lexa joining in the jibing, Niylah openly laughing beside her.

“Well, I’m sorry to break up the dynamic duo, but I was hoping to steal Lexa away.”

“No problem. I’ll see you both at dinner.”

"We might not make it back in time. We're going on a date." The brightness in Clarke's eyes makes Niylah happy, glad to finally see Wanheda find a bit of her own happiness.

\--

When Gaia finds her a half an hour after Clarke and Lexa have left, Niylah is parboiling the vegetables in the stockpot over the fire. The meat was prepped and cubed to be added to the skewers once the vegetables had softened slightly. Niylah was now simply waiting and glad for the company.

The _Fleimkepa_ sits beside her, snagging a chunk of raw carrot that didn’t make it into the pot and popping it into her mouth. Niylah listens to her crunch through it, swallow audible over the crackling flames. She waits for Gaia to say something and when she doesn’t she turns her attention to the fire and her thoughts.

The blonde smiles wider when Gaia leans far enough toward her that their arms are pressed together. No words pass between them, but neither feels they need to. They sit like that for the entire time it takes her to finish dinner, parting only to attend the food and ring the bell announcing dinner was done.

Their friends gather around them, chatting and laughing with one another. Niylah quietly smiles when Gaia laughs particularly loudly at one of Miller's jokes. She throws in a sarcastic remark of her own, causing Gaia to laugh even more, a sound she holds delicately but closely to her heart. Warmth seeps through her chest and for the first time in a long she finds herself looking toward the future instead of the past.

\--

“Come on, it’s right up here.” Clarke tugs Lexa along by her hand. Lexa enjoys the warmth of her palm pressed against hers, following along if just to not lose that connection with her love. When they start climbing a rather steep hill, Lexa regrets parting with her, but she must if they don’t want to tug each other around. 

When they’ve reached the peak, Lexa gasps, small but audibly enough to make Clarke smile. She can see for miles, the mountains a backdrop to the sea of green that is the forest below them. Clarke’s arms come around her waist from behind, chin resting on her shoulder as they take in the view before them.

The breeze cools their exposed skin, gooseflesh rising from a particularly chilly gust. It only makes Clarke hold Lexa tighter, a secureness Lexa finds herself liking, a dependence she’s never allowed, even with Clarke during her first life. “I am no longer the Commander, Clarke.”

“I never loved you for your title. _You_ are special.”

“Not as special as you, Clarke. You changed me, you changed all of us. _Jus nau drein jus daun. Kiken raun bilaik mou kom kiken thru_.” Lexa turns in Clarke’s arms and kisses her, hard and fierce with all the love she never got to express, growing softer the longer it goes on. Every time she finds herself pressed against Clarke, she commits it to memory, the softness of her lips, the shape of her hip under her hand, and it is no different now.

Tears spring to her eyes as she finds herself overwhelmed with her love for Clarke, for the blessing of her second chance. They part when Lexa tastes the salt of her own tears and Clarke must, as well. “Don’t cry.”

“I just love you so much, Clarke. I never thought—I can’t believe—”

Clarke cuts her stuttering sentence off with another kiss, soft and chaste, over and over. “I love you, too, Lexa. We finally owe nothing more to our people. We can just be happy.”

And then they are both sobbing, kissing between breaths, mantras of love uttered again and again. When Lexa has cried so much she thinks she may never cry again, Lexa feels lighter. She can be happy, she is happy. She wakes up next to Clarke every single day, does chores, and chats with their little village. There are no impossible choices or delicate balances. No spies and subterfuge or her lover’s dismembered head in her bed. There is no war.

“Is this peace?” Lexa whispers.

“It will be. We have all the time in the world.”

“I’m not sure I know what to do with peace, Clarke.”

“Then I’ll keep you occupied,” Clarke half laughs it out, half sobs, voice cracking halfway through.

They spend some time longer, in each other’s arms, the sun almost disappearing behind the mountain range, taking most of the warmth with it. They are just about to head back toward Wonkru Village when a low rumble starts in the distance, raising high and loud as dust plumes from somewhere to the west, near a low point between the peaks of two mountains.

“That’s where Raven went!” Clarke exclaims.

“Let’s get back to the village to get supplies and we’ll go find them.”

They set as fast a pace as they can sustain, all the way back to the village.


End file.
